"If I like something, I tend to want a lot of it"

So sayeth SmartyPants, who has quickly mastered me through wit, charm and an inexplicable ability to be sexy via text (i didn't actually think this was possible).

I am almost equally intrigued and suspicious. Maybe that's not the right word. I am...well, I told him today "you are trouble" and this statement is usually always true and usually always means that I like someone. Apparently, I only like troublesome guys.

Sitting in my deskchair at the office and getting a text that says "if i like something, i tend to want it a lot" is also the kind of double entendre, baiting statement that I am also the master of, and which, turned back on ME - I grinned like an idiot and thought about five different ways I could take the statement...and liked all of them.

Trouble. Trouble trouble trouble.

February has been a slow month due chiefly to a demanding worklife and personal drama. Turns out a friend passing away, working late more than not, and your father going off the deep end kill your dating mojo. And yet, I'm still talking to this yahoo. Date rescheduled from last week to Wednesday of this week.

I'm going to be so disappointed if its lame. I've totally hyped it up in my head - which is a TERRIBLE plan. I also didn't think it was possible to want to jump someone you've NEVER met, but, lord, if I don't want to just jump this guy.

That could also just be the hormones talking. I bought myself a Valentine's Day present that was meant to help SATE the hormones and instead has managed to INFLAME the hormones. If my mood hadn't been dampened by aforementioned work and personal strife, and if it were possible for a human to be in heat....well, you get the idea.

In the NON Match world, I have a minor but increasing crush on that hot lawyer that started my match.com journey and ultimately this blog. I just had to check to see if I had told THAT particular story here, and, lucky for you, I have not:

So, New Year's Eve represented a very real realization on my part that I needed to kickstart my dating life and remember that I not only wanted but OWED it to myself to be something beyond mother, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker, etc. etc. etc. with "woman" at the very bottom of that list. This realization came as I sat slightly inebriated on the floor of the living room where my ex-boyfriend and one of my best friend's boyfriend live while another one of my best friends was making out with said ex-boyfriend in his bedroom.

Two things really quick: it was fine that they made out and very good for both of them.

Back to the story: it was WEIRD because they were making out, I had to listen, I'd harmlessly flirting/having a good time with another friend of the boys' who happens to be a very hot lawyer who had just been dumped by his girlfriend. We'd been doing that playfighting thing over who was getting the long couch in the living room to crash on (becuase my 5'3" self had as much right to it as his 6'3" self) and ended up laying down on the couch together in a fight to the finish. And then the best friend/exboyfriend thing happened.

I was more weirded out in a drunken Twilight Zone state than I was UPSET, but he naturally assumed I was upset and very sweetly started playing his ipod loudly to drown out the noise.

And how did I respond? Hot lawyer inches from me, music playing, alcohol on board?

"So, what happened with you girlfriend?"

That's right, folks, I became a mother figure/therapist...chatted...and then passed out to wake up on the big couch alone the next morning.

EPIC. FAIL.

Little Red of OLD would NEVER have let a drunken make-up opportunity flit by in such an affronting fashion. New Little Red was CLEARLY more conflicted about threatening her current attempt to best the Virgin Mary on that whole saintly motherhood thing.

So, I've seen hot lawyer twice since and each time he manages to pull out enough sass that I enjoy his company. This weekend I REALLY enjoyed his sass and thought to myself "i might have a little tiny crush on you and your hot lawyer self" He, however, appears to be getting dumped shortly before each encounter and I'm not sure what THAT means.

All I know is that when I threatened to roundhouse kick in the face a douche-y pooltable hog, he said, "Lindsey, I am liking you more and more by the minute" and I found myself wanting him to - no matter how many douchbags I had to kick in the face to impress him.

Common thread: sass. why oh why do i like boys with so much backtalk. It makes me grin and try to one up them and it gets me as close to hot and bothered as just talking can get.

I must have a wire shorted out in my brain somewhere. Or it all goes back to the only time I have ever been punched in the face - in the first grade when this kid (oh my gosh! I used to know his name by heart and I've forgotten it! I'm OLD!) - anyway, this punk KID used to call me "little red riding hood" and chased me around and pulled on my coat and one day punched me in the face and gave me my first and only black eye. He later told the principal it was becuase he liked me.

Anyone who thinks boys are not just as crazy as girls is out his or her damn mind.

And so today, I am pining a bit over two boys - neither of whom I have so much as kissed.

Let's hope the next post I can claim to have rectified that problem.