So, Monday after the sexcapades of Sunday, DD texts as I am getting dressed in the locker room of my gym:
"I don't know about you, but I'm ready for round 2. Last night was hot!"
1) thank you, sir.
2) yes it was.
3) holy hell, I am tired and I still can't feel parts of my wrist and I had to ice my nether bits this morning.
big smile on my face, I respond: "baby, i have to SLEEP!" as well as some mushy stuff so his ego isn't bruised.
Tuesday, my mother is convinced that there will be a tornado and terrible weather so I find myself having a slumber party with my sister, son and mother at her house for the evening.
DD sends some raunchy texts which I eagerly return and then wants to come over.
I have to let him down gently that I am slumbering in the same room that I did when I was a teenager.
Then, hilariously, Wednesday after a cardio kickboxing class, I receive a text that says:
"baby, I have tried to stay away, but I want...no, NEED, to ravish you tonight."
Well, hell, when you put it THAT way...
"come on over!"
Post-coital later that evening, he says with a smile "I was trying to stay away until tomorrow since I know we're spending so much time together this weekend."
I give him a look and recount that he wanted to come over both Monday and Tuesday after sexcapade Sunday.
He looks sheepish: "I guess I just can't get enough of you."
That's not such a bad problem, but I self-deprecatingly respond "give it time."
Either I've bewitched him or he's the kind of guy who jumps headlong and fast into lust and love. I don't trust people like that. They're the "blinded by love" folk that end up looking at you 6 months in and saying "I can't believe you always did THAT thing. It drives me crazy. You JUST started doing it" with regard to some fundamental personality trait that you can't fix, don't want to fix, and then you break up over.
People say I'm cagey about relationships, but I think it's just smart planning for the future. I don't LOVE any less in the long haul. I just get there with a great deal of caution, skepticism and side-eyes.
He invites me to go with him to a birthday bbq for his buddy that we went to the Royals game with, but I have agreed to work at the theatre that night for the education folks. I had planned to take my son with me, but when I mention this and offer to come to the BBQ when we're done, he says that won't work (he has his girls and needs to get them home around the time that I would be getting off. Then he says something that I think I must have heard wrong:
"How about if I come over after work and pick up [your son] and take him over to Joey's with me and the girls? Then I can bring him back after I drop off the girls."
I have to clarify that I haven't heard him wrong: "you want to take my child with you to spend time with WITHOUT me?"
He smiles in a way I'm becoming accustomed to. He's amused by me and thinks I'm young in this smile. I appreciate that he thinks I'm so youthful and that he doesn't talk down to me when he responds "I think it would be good for us to spend some quality time together without you around."
I frown seriously at him. "Stop trying to make me fall in love with you."
This cracks him up.
I'm a little bit serious though and begin to wonder if this is all a devious plot to win my affections more quickly. That's how jaded I am.
I feel a bit less jaded and a little more mushy the next night when he sends me pictures of all the kids playig outside while I am working backstage for the local high school tony awards.
I feel even more mushy when he arrives home after me carrying my sleeping child up the stairs. A sleeping child which I promptly put to sleep and who nods and smiles when I ask him if he had fun.
We're both exhausted this night, and we lay down and talk more and then fall asleep. No hanky panky - just some glowy family talk.
"This just feels different," he says at one point before we pass out. "I feel like you're someone I can build a life with."
I make a noncommittal sound in response, glow inwardly at the thought, and freak out in the next millisecond at the realization that I feel somewhat the same. Currently the only thing weirding me out about him is that nothing is weirding me out.
Friday rolls around with the promise of some adult fun - GAME NIGHT with my two best girls friends and their man friends. The girls have been waiting patiently for me to find a man for eons, so I am excited to host game-night, drop my kiddo off at his grandma's, and put DD up on the alter of friendship judgement.
Before that can happen though, DD comes to retrieve the laundry that I somehow allowed him to do on Wednesday night at my house (I gave him the stink eye about it and he said "I'm spending the next three nights here - when do you want me to do it?" at which point I stopped being a territorial asshole) right after I get off work.
I had planned my time Friday eve before everyone was coming over very carefully, and when DD texts about his clothes, I tell him when I'm going to be home with the thought that he'll be there right then and I can continue on to the grocery store, to drop off my kiddo and get ready for everyone. I'm an event planner by industry and it carries over to my life.
When DD shows up 30 minutes after I get home, and I've only accomplished some minor housecleaning, I internally command myself to be flexible, make-out for long enough to get worked up and then slap myself into go-mode.
"I've GOT to go," I say firmly.
"So..you just want me to go home and come back in 2.5 hours?" he asks.
This is the non-question question I am finding DD to be a master of. It's SO clear what he wants, but he's politely (passive-agressively?!) asking a question instead of just saying "you mind if I stay here while you do what you gotta do?"
I tell him he's welcome to join me as I run OR he can stay here and hang out. He says he'll shower and take a quick nap while I run.
I have the first "ugh, what a man" moment, but take off and carry about my business. When I get home from dropping off my son and picking up more food than 6 people could possibly eat in one evening, I see that DD has NOT showered, but it peacefully sleeping on my bed. I have anohter "ugh what a man" moment followed by a strange sense of possesivenes or happiness or something at the site of him sleeping in my bed. Almost like I wouldn't mind seeing it more often. I softly close the door on him and get to work on the food.
He wakes at some point, comes out to kiss me and then hops in the shower. I realize I have an empty house and a soapy man, but a time crunch. I hurry up cutting veggies. Somehoe, it's 7:15 when the food is done and DD is about to get dressed. I pounce, but he glances at the clock.
"I was trying to leave enough time to seduce you," I lament, realizing we don't have enough time to safely accomplish anything without risk of interruption even though I'm wearing a skirt and he's already in just a towel.
"Someone's a little horny, huh?" he says, getting that dark look all men get when they know they're wanted.
I nod, frustrated, and tromp into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine.
"And you have to leave by 9:30, right?" I confirm, knowing he has to pick up his girls at that time and has them for the WHOLE weekend, which means the likelihood of any sexy times is slim to none.
"Somewhere around there," he says, following me into the kitchen to hug me from behind.
I grumble at this. We have made plans to attend the Circus tomorrow evening with all the kids, go to church with all the kids Sunday morning, and I invited him (and the kids) to spend Memorial Day Monday with me and my family at my mom and dad's house for swimming and a cookout.
"All this time together and none of...that. That's going to lead to some major anticipation," I say, gulping down some wine in hopes of cooling my hormones.
"I thought about that. We may have to figure out something. Maybe we could all stay here tomorrow night?"
I have a 2 bedroom townhome. My son has a full-sized bed, but that still puts me a couple beds shy of a hotel...and with 3 sleeping kids within 20 feet. Dear old married couples with children, HOW DO YOU DO IT!? I am gaining leaps and bounds of appreciation for successful married couples with kids. Your life is no easy thing. We're so impressed upon to believe that that is the norm, the way your life is SUPPOSED to go, but your life is not easy, nuclear family heads. You definitely have to work at keeping the hot stuff hot in the face of family obligations, sleeping children, soccer games, and the like.
Before we can chat too much about a potential family slumber party, the first couple shows up and the evening is off.
We suck at Cranium and lose horribly, but DD keeps up with my friends in social banter. We're a bit of a motley crew, but he's pleasant, has shaved, and is wearing a nice pink button down in which he looks both tailored and manly at the same time. I enjoy my wine, the game (even as I lose) and the companionship...especially his as he sweetly reaches over to squeeze my knee or rub my back a few times. I believe in physical affection. Anybody can talk the talk, but you know you are liked - genuinely - when someone can't keep their hands off you.
I am pleasantly tipsy when DD has to leave, and actually glad for his absence so that I can come back upstairs after sending him off to get everyone's honest opinions.
I walk him downstairs, and change my tune slightly, the wine and sudden denial of any sexy times making my naturally MORE desirous.
We kiss and kiss some more. "I wish you didn't have to go," I say.
"Me too," he says, then kisses me some more. "Til tomorrow."
"Till tomorrow," I agree, finally pulling back and retreating to the hall.
I am in a slightly drunken haze of attraction as I float back upstairs.
"She is in la la land," my friend Jenny says upon my return and observance of my face.
"I LIKE him," I declare.
My friend Sarah's boyfriend - a veritable bar master - starts mixing up cocktails...POTENT cocktails...as we discuss DD. Everyone likes him so far. And, I quickly learn though the second round of cocktails, that both girls have totally spilled the beans on Sexcapade Sunday to their boyfriends. This leads to some questions and, somehow or other, I end up bringing out my infamous sex bag to illustrate visually the lovely dichotomy of DD's admirably family values and devious sexual values.
At some point - an 8-inch dildo ends up suction cupped to my fridge. It's just that kind of conversation. It's hilarious to watch the boys and girls react differently to the tale of attraction, dating and sexcapading. To my great surpise, when I end up outside with the two boyfriends, Jenny's boyfriend Kyle says "I just want to make sure you don't move to fast. You're moving really fast."
I know I'm moving fast...or rather, I have felt that HE is moving fast and I have been along for the ride so long as my comfort level has allowed it. Given my usual cold feet - which I point out to Kyle - this seems to bode well for the depth of our attraction.
"I've been in those kind of relationships. They go fast and then they fall apart."
This disheartens me until Mike, Sarah's boyfriend, who is of a general relationship cagey nature says "I think this is a good thing for you. I would tell you otherwise. I spent a lot of time having to make myself realize my issues were MY issues, and not take that out on Sarah."
"Sarah's GREAT," I exclaim, at which point I realize how drunk I am.
"She is great. She was always great. I just didn't trust it. But that was ME, not her. I'm not saying jump too fast, but I think this guy seems like the right kind of guy for you."
He goes on to say that his roommate, and my former boyfriend, was not.
"He is such a good guy though," I defend, protective, however, strangely, of my ex-boyfriend.
"He's a great guy. He just wasn't the right guy for YOU."
Somehow, the conversation veers to his other friend - hot lawyer - who I'm drunk enough to admit - vehemently - that I don't understand why we didn't make out.
"I thought you would!" Mike exclaims.
"Me too!" I say.
I have a major moment of regret - being of a relationship status that prevents the possibility of a solid make-out session with hot lawyer.
We get quiet - probably both realizing this. Or maybe he's quiet becuase I've admitted that I want to make-out with his buddy, in the same sentence that I exclaimed a state of intense "like" for the person I'm in a relationship with (and who I still can't quite get comfortable calling my "boyfriend")
"Maybe when you're attracted to someone, things just fall into place," I say later that evening to my friend Jenny.
"We weren't facebook offical for 7 months," she says of her boyfriend of 2 years. I was facebook official after 5 weeks.
"Well, we'll either be married in the next year or this will end horribly," I decide finally.
"I think those the options for any relationship," she returns, master of the obvious.
Whatever.
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