Oh, Lord, people. Nothing like belly-flopping into family time to make a person glad to be going out of town for 10 days (which I am this Friday).
Saturday brought dinner at DD's house prior to a planned field trip to the Piccadilly Circus downtown with all three kids. DD made a nice dinner and thoughtfully considered my crazy-ass diet when planning my meal, and also had a kid-friendly option for the 2, 9 and 10 year olds dining with us.
From there we departed for the Circus - which turned out to be a lame circus if there ever was one. Even my toddler was unimpressed. Oh, well. Sure seemed like a good idea.
So, DD and I had TALKED about, in PASSING, figuring out a way to spend the night Saturday night but as I was en route to drive them home, he mentions that he'd packed for the girls and had planned to have a slumber party at my house and then we would all go to church in the morning together.
Alrighty, then. I had no toilet paper at my house, which was embarassing, but then, I hadn't CONFIRMED with him (nor he with me) that we were actually executing Operation Slumber Party that night. So, I sneak out after getting my toddler into PJ's and "Wall-E" on the tube to buy toilet paper. I find myself also buying razors (after he used a bad one of mine the night before to shave) and non-girly body wash (he's been smelling like "tahitian renewal" for days which is tripping me out). The implications of these purchases are not lost on me. I try not to think too hard about it, check out and go home to watch Wall-E.
Or...attempt to watch Wall-E as the girls have discovered all of my son's toys, the noisiest of which they get out and become a performing band. It's endearing to say the least and I enjoy being curled up on the couch with DD while our kids perform. I smack away the internal "holy crap, girl, what are you doing!?" alarm bells and enjoy it for a bit. Then, I see how late it is and put the kabosh on the noisy stuff and make everyone get ready for bed.
DD has forgotten to pack his girls any pajamas (dad fail) so they each wear a t-shirt of mine. It's a little trippy to see my name on the back of his youngest daughter as she sports a softball jersey I wore when I was about her age (don't ask why I still own it).
One girl sleeps on the living room couch, and the other heads to sleep in with my son. One big cozy family.
By midnight, all people under the age of 18 are asleep and I retire to my bed where DD is lounging and we have a VERY quiet make-out session. Then we pass out.
Morning comes VERY early, but I get up, get ready, and start in on breakfast. Normally, my son eats some waffles or something similar and fruit and I make myself a crazy-diet omelet. Not today. Today, I get a taste of cooking for a family. I make scrambled eggs for four, sausage, cut upa canteloupe, get dishes down, do waffles for the girl that doesn't like eggs, and make coffee for DD. Holy hell! Domesticity - you're going to take some adjustment if you come into my life on a semi-regular basis. I barely down a cup of coffee before I'm shoo-ing everyone out ther door for church.
Let's talk about church: DD is not a church go-er but his girls are. I go to a pretty darn liberal church..a self-proclaimed "church for the unchurched" which is about as accessible and awesome as they come. I think the girls will love it. The whole reason we are all going is becuase the girls' mom wants them to go to church once a week. On DD's weekends, they don't usually go, so they go on Wednesday nights (and cut a chunk out of THAT night with DD). DD is up for trying it and thinks it will be good times
Who knew we would have a guest pastor that was all serious fire and brimstone, evangelism and all things that non-churchy people hate?
Not me. It was off-putting to ME, a church-goer, so I knew when we walked out and I offered a weak "well that was intense" that I was going to get some vein of what I got which was "to be honest, I did not enjoy any of that."
Yikes. Well. Hell. I was a little awkward about this. I tried to explain that's not what the church was about, relented and finally said "maybe you're just not a church guy."
"I guess not."
Eek. Well, at least the girls had fun. It was weird getting them all checked in and picking them all up though. They keep track of kids with stickers and, my son is registered, but we registered his girls but somehow my name was still on all of them and it was a bit overwhelming to have three children labeled with my name.
I dropped them back off at DD's house, mumbled a quick "sorry for dragging you out of bed for that" and then made plans to see them that night for the camping trip I'd drunkenly agreed to on Friday night.
I'm tired and regretting this idea of going to sleep in a tent with three kids and my new boyfriend.
I rally though and get excited. My toddler appears to get excited too and has one of those great days that 2-year-olds of capable of where he is so high on life that you can't deny him but also grates on your last nerve.
The 45-minute ride to Lawrence with three kids in the back is not a short one becuase of my LOUD happy child. I think it's bugging DD, but I can't stop it so I just have a moment of "too bad" because I had offered to drive separately as well.
We stop for dinner, which DD buys (even though I make an attempt to dig my debit card out of the backpack that's buried in his trunk), which is sweet. Not to sweet? My loud jumping toddler who shames me in public.
Luckily we depart for the great outdoors where, upon exiting the car, the three kids immediately run off to play. I sigh in relief and smile at DD.
"Kids," I shrug with a modicum of embarassment.
"I knew they'd be fine once we got out here."
Camping turns out to be fun up for the majority of the evening. His friends are cool (although, I think the boys are all stoners...not DD...and the girls both make disdainful faces and separate the teams into "smart people" and "other people"...and DD admits not to me, but to one of the dudes that he hasn't been doing it for 6 or 7 weeks...huh? that's about how long we've been dating. INNNNTERESTING. I take my judge-y pants off and enjoy my beer) The kids wear themselves out playing and then retire to a tent that DD and I put up in the dark (bad idea).
The world is blissfully relaxed - perfect weather, good company, cold beer. We decide to make one last quick drive to the restrooms which, thankfully, EXIST at this campground.
All is well until I come bounding out of the bathroom and, I'm not sure what happens, but the ground suddenly rises up and smacks into me. DD was already in the car, headlights spotlighting the suddeny flat tire my body has had. I'm a klutz on a good day, but something seems to HURT. He doesn't jump out, so I assume he's laughing and trying to compose himself, so I hobble to the car, slide in and say "well, I TOLD you I wasn't graceful!"
"Oh, baby you are HURT," he says, looking at my knee. I twisted my right ankle...and it's THROBBING so I didn't even notice that I skinned my left knee half off and it's bleeding. Classy. Sexy. Exactly the way to end the night.
He helps me back to the campground and suddenly sleeping on the ground could not look any LESS appealing.
So my ankle is throbbing, the other knee is bleeding and skinned like I'm a 5-year-old...we crawl into the tent at around 1:30 AM and have barely snuggled up when his oldest wakes up and has to the bathroom. He sighs and takes her. They've barely returned some twenty minutes later when MY son wakes up and has to go. Luckily, he's a boy so we hobble out to great outdoors and I tell him how fun it will be to pee in the grass.
We've settled back down - all 5 of us - at about the time the wind picks up. The tent stakes come up at least three times between 2:45 AM and 7 AM. It sounds like a tornado. Somehow the children never stir. DD and I toss and turn until he finally takes the cover off the tent which quiets some of the noise. Sure as he does that, dawn arrives and it begins to rain on us. I pull my sleeping bag over my and my kid's heads and huddle for as long as I can before we all give up and pack up to go home.
We are EXHAUSTED. My kid is hungry and cranky and by the time we pull into DD's driveway, I throw my crap in my own car, pack my whiney child up and head home with a parting kiss on the lips and not much more. It's not a bad parting, just a tired one.
And, I know if I don't go rest and if he doesn't do the same, this great meeting of his family and mind that is to take place poolside at my parents' house later that day is going to be a BUST.
I rally at some point since the pool is clear, it's a diet cheat day, and the sun comes out (mostly). My son goes to sleep and take a 4 hour nap and things look UP.
When DD and his girls arrives, they meet and greet my mom and dad, my sister and her boyfriend, and then we all get in the pool to swim and play for a while. It's fun! DD is clearly still tired, and admits that his girls wouldn't let him sleep, but he hangs in there. He chats up the fam, eats some grilled goodies. The kids play, my sister rides bikes with his youngest - everything is hunky dory.
I hit a wall somewhere around 7:30 and am tired again though. We've eaten, we've schmoozed, I have to work the next day and I've spent the better part of 5 days with him and the better part of 3 days with his kids. I'm tapped out. My own kid has been off his regular sleep schedule for the whole weekend and I have a car full of camping crap and dishes and laundry to do before I can sleep.
DD does NOT take the social cue and make a graceful exit. I have to finally prod and say "I've got to get [my son] home" with an emphatic look. "Are you going to go home and crash after?"
My subtext here is misread. I MEANT "that's what i'm going to do - enjoy. we're tired. peace be with you."
He reads that I want him to come over,saying something about how comfortable my bed is, but how he still has stuff to put away. In a state of sleep-deprived panic I quickly amend that there is ALWAYS tomorrow, which makes him smile and agree.
I try not to shove them out the door, but, I'm close to doing just that. Dude, I like you. I like your kids. I'm all on board with this freaky fast track for the most part becuase I'm having a good time. But I. am. tired. I'm not going to like you if you end up being a source of exhaustion for me. I'm injured from camping and I just want to get my life ready for the two days of work I have to accomplish before vacation.
Thus, needless to say, family bonanza weekend was rife with a comedy of errors (lame circus, ill received church field trip, injuries and windy nights) but I feel like these are the stories will look back on and smile about. So long as he gives me time to rest between these excursions.
Luckily, last night I fell asleep early and missed his inquiring texts. I enjoyed my own bed. To myself. Who knows how long I'll get to keep it.
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