"I think you've got a Stage 5 Clinger"

This is all moving very fast for me.

So, from a near "oops" early in the week, I have somehow managed to share 282 texts (WTF), 4 phone calls and a drinks date with Christian Rockstar.

Christian Rockstar is super funny and generally we have hit it off brilliantly.

Red flag: see above for how much has happened between Monday night and Friday night. That is a freaking ton to happen in 5 days.

So, here's what I don't know: is this totally specific to Christian Rockstar or is this how the internet dating thing works? I'm inclined to believe that you probably speed up the initial meet and greet process after being on a site like match.com after a certain number of fruitless first dates. I think this becuase I can see how it would be a time suck to talk to someone for three weeks over email, think something magical was happening, only to find they are dumb as a rock in person or have unruly back hair or something.

That said, I'm getting whiplash from this pace. I have a job! A kid! Friends! Stuff! Which is all to say, that I think my expectation was that I would do a little of the winking, a little of the messaging and try and land a date for a Friday or Saturday night. I didn't know it was going to take up, potentially, my whole freakin' week.

How my best friend ended up texting me "I Think You Have a Stage 5 Clinger"

So, I work in a job that is pretty demanding and time consuming when it wants to be. I happen to be working late this Friday and I will be working ALL day tomorrow (Saturday). So Christian Rockstar texts me and asks what I'm doing tonight, to which I reply that I am working late and then meeting up with friends for coffee later in the evening.

He says "do you want to get dinner?"

And, then I'm confused, becuase, didn't I JUST say I was working late and had plans? So I reasonably text back "tonight?"

And he says "I know you have to work early but I thought it would be nice to get dinner and maybe a drink"

I, kindly, reply "and it totally would but I have no idea when I'm going to get out of here. Why don't I call you when I leave?"

Because, a) i'm scrubby b) i'm TIRED and c) i JUST SAW HIM LAST NIGHT. When does he think I have time to pretty up and make it to dinner? I don't say any of this though.

"Drinks?!"

What the hell, dude? Read between the lines. I'M VERY BUSY AND IMPORTANT.

Diplomatically (will this trait pass the further I go?) I reply "haha, how about i call you when i'm off and we'll see where we're at OR how about we make a firm date or Sunday or Monday?"

I don't really want to go out Sunday. I'm going to be ungodly tired from working Saturday, there's a Chiefs playoff game, and I won't have seen my kid for a day and half. For real. Monday might work but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

He replies "Let's do both!?"

And i kind of want to be like "Dude, for real, i like you. IN fact, I'm not forcing anything, pushing to make this a first successful hooha or anything. BUt I just met you and you're being pushy, and I am not, despite my fantasies, totally irresistable so I know it's not my inherent wit charm and develish good looks that are prompting you to chase me like this. and, i CANNOT KEEP THIS PACE UP! This is the kind of ungodly fast behavior that ends in marriage proposals after three months, and Little Red don't roll like that."

I don't say any of this though. I take a DEEP breath, remind myself that I don't want to die cold and alone, and reply "lol, i'll call you when i get off. i have to go work!"

So, now I'm waiting to escape the office (clearly working hard, am i not?) and definitely not planning to see Christian Rocker tonight, becuase, well, i'm tired, and the last I worked for today was crazy pants, and I want to see my kid for two hours before I have to go see my friends.

And, honestly, in my priorities, work I have to do, kid i want to do, and friends i've known longer than this cute boy i just met.

Crap. I'm totally going to die cold and alone.


Stats:

Christian Rocker
29
Rocked for 9 years, currently working with special ed kids at a private school
lives at home as of recently to save money while he starts school in two weeks (this doesn't both me becuase he's starting school in two week for occupational therapy)
Good sense of humor

Red flag admission that I will probably remember at some point "I mean, I'm not that guy that waits three days to call a girl if i like her. If someone is going to think that's "smothering" then...ya know...whatever."